Alright, listen up, fellow herb enthusiasts. Papa Smurf here, back to wax poetic about the ever-evolving world of, well, you know… the good stuff. Back in my day, things were simpler. We had names that made sense, names you could trust. Blueberry? Yeah, tasted like blueberries. White Widow? Looked frosty as hell. Purple Haze? Well, you get the picture. It was straightforward.
But these days? Holy moly, it’s a goddamn circus out there. You walk into a dispensary, and you’re bombarded with names that sound like they were dreamed up during a fever dream. Alaskan Thunder Fuck? Cat Piss OG? Unicorn Poop? Donkey Breath? Seriously, what the actual fuck?
What the Heck Happened to Naming Weed?
I mean, come on, where did we go wrong? Remember when a strain name was just a description? Now it’s like they’re trying to win some kind of bizarre creativity contest. And I’m not sure I’m a fan.
- The Quest for Attention: Let’s be real, the market is flooded. Everyone and their grandma is growing these days. You gotta stand out somehow, right? So, the race to the most outrageous name began.
- Marketing Mayhem: It’s all about branding, baby! They wanna create a memorable, shareable name. And what’s more memorable than something that sounds utterly ridiculous?
- Genetic Gymnastics: With all the cross-breeding and hybridizing going on, maybe they’re just running out of decent names. “We mixed this with that… uh… let’s call it Frankenberry Death Kush!”
Back in My Day…
Look, I’m not saying the old names were perfect. But at least they were… honest. You knew what you were getting into. You could spark up some White Rhino and expect to feel chill, maybe a little giggly. No surprises.
Now, you gotta worry about whether your weed is going to give you a freaking boner or make you hallucinate and see your dead grandma. (Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating… a little.) But seriously, who wants to smoke something called Cat Piss OG? Does it smell like cat piss? Does it taste like cat piss? Because if so, I’m good, thanks.
So, What’s a Smurf to Do?
I’m not saying boycott the crazy names. Some of them might be fire, who knows? But I am saying, do your research. Don’t just blindly buy something because it’s called “Unicorn Poop.” Ask the budtender (who, let’s be honest, probably doesn’t know much more than you do). Read some reviews (like the ones at 420BigBud).
And most importantly, trust your gut. If a name sounds sketchy, it probably is. Stick to what you know, or at least try a small amount before committing to a whole ounce of something called “Alaskan Thunder Fuck.”
A Few Words From Papa
Here’s my two cents: Let’s bring back some sanity to the strain-naming game. Let’s focus on accurate descriptions and appealing qualities, not just shock value. I want names that inspire confidence and enjoyment, not names that make me question my life choices.
And for the love of all that is holy, can we please retire “Cat Piss OG”? Some things just aren’t meant to be.
Remember to check out growing guides for all your questions.
You know, when I was in my younger days, we.We had basic names for the devil’s lettuce, right?You know, like Blueberry,Yum Yum, Purple Haze,White Rhino, White.White Widow, or just straight up,you know, whatever it was.And now there’s crazy ass names out there.You go to these dispow places,and they have shit, you know,called Alaskan. Alaskan Thunder. Fuck.Cat Piss, OG.You got unicorn poop,donkey breath, the Frankenstein.They got shit advertised that it’ll.It’ll make you go blind. I mean,what happened to the good old days of just,you know,hitting on some shit and doing what you were gonna do?Now you gotta worry about shit if it’s gonna make you go blind,if it’s gonna, you know,give you a freaking boner.What happened to just doing it and chilling out?Who wants to smoke on some shit called cat piss or Alaskan Thunder?Fuck,where do they come up with these fucking namesvideo